This was sent to me when Alex was born.
How Preemie Moms Are Chosen
Author Unknown
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God Hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.
As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. “Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint Celia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…better giver her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”
Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Giver her a preemie.” The angel is curious. “Why this one God? She’s so happy.” “Exactly,” smiles God. “Could I give a premature baby to a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”
“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.
“I don’t want her to have too much patience or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has the sense of self and independence so rare and necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her lives in a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”
“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.” God smiles “no matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness.”
The angel gasps, “Selfishness!? Is that a virtue?” God nodes. “If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work.”
“And what about her patron saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised the air. God smiles. “A mirror will suffice.”
Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.
So one day he asked God: They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?
Among the many angels out there, I chose a special one just for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.
But tell me, here in heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy.
Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day, and you will feel your angel's love and that will make you happy.
And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk?
Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.
And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?
Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.
I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me?
Your angel will defend you even if it means risking her life.
But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.
Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.
At the moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly: Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.
Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel: Mommy.
Authur Unkmown
The Brother's Song
Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3 year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.
They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his little sister in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her.
The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen.
In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, very three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? Finally after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee
The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatric specialist regretfully had to tell the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst."
Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby....but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral.
Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her," he kept saying. Week two in the intensive care looked as if a funeral could come before the week was over.
Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in the Intensive Care. Karen made up her mind, though. She would take Michael whether they liked it or not! If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive.
She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed "Get that kid out of here now! NO children are allowed!" The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He's not leaving until he sings to his sister!"
Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old Michael sang:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,
you make me happy when skies are gray,"
Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. Her pulse rate began to calm down and become steady. "Keep on singing, Michael, encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.
"You never know, dear,
how much I love you.
Please don't take
my sunshine away."
Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. "Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.
"My only sunshine.
Please don't take
my sunshine away...."
The next day,...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home!
"Woman's Day Magazine" called it "The Miracle of a Brother's Song" The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love!
Never give up on the people you love. Love is so incredible powerful. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world!
- Contributed by Mary J. Widhalm
Untitled
so tiny, so small
you were giving us your all
day after day
night after night
we watched over you
brought you our love
dressed you up
held your tiny hands
you opened your eyes
you sighed
your perfect little eyelashes
kept you warmheld you close
fear in the heart of me
you went limp
i was so afraid
how could you forget
you were too young to know
you had to fight
it was easier
you thought you'd go back
to a cozier place and sleep
my dear angel
you must remember
every breath matters
my dear angel
you cannot forget
every breath matters
one moment you are smiling
the next you are still
i cannot wake you up
i panic, i freeze, i am helpless
your life is so precious
i can't lose you
i can't lose you
i need to see you grow
i need to keep you safe
i long for the day
when you have no need for wires
i long for the day
when you call me mommy
your weak cries
your pain broke my heartwhy can't i help you
why can't i save you from this
you should be home
you should be swimmng in a sea of safety
sometimes i can't comprehend
how little you are
i'm afraid you won't grow
i'm afraid they will label you
they will stop trying
comfort care, what the hell is that?
he's your patient
he's my baby
Now I gaze at you anew,
In your open air crib,
We haven't come this far to say goodbye.
-----
The Brave
Through all of the pain,
Again and again,
All day and night long,
He fights to stay strong.
Too brave to stay sick,
No room for sorrow,
His little feet kick,
Willing tomorrow.
I will make it, I'll survive.
I will come home, I will thrive.
His tiny voice sighs
Too young to ask why.He lifts his head high
Bright eyes towards the sky.
Hands under his head,
Alone in his bed.
Sweet nothings we bring,
To sunshine we sing.
You will make it, you'll survive.
You will come home, you will thrive.
----
Until He is Home
The sun will just be the sun,
Laying new hopes on the morning sky,
Only to fall behind clouds,
Until he is home.The wind will just be the wind,
Carrying the joy of sweet spring's scents,
Towards my heart, then away.
Until he is home.
The stars will just be the stars,
Gentle miracles and promises,
Holding my dreams through the night.
Until he is home.
----
I Remember Tiny You
I remember tiny you,
In your warm isolette,
I can't forget.
Contributed By: Lorrie, mother of a 28 week preemie
Tuesday » September 23 » 2008 Miracle child James Gill's parents fought to bring him into the world and keep him alive
John Kennedy canada.com
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
CREDIT: Tim Vickery James Gill, the world's most premature baby, gets kisses from his father Jim and mother Brenda last summer upon turning 18. The Ontario family struggled to bring James into the world when he was born a stunning 128 days early. James Gill is a typical teenager struggling with the pressures of university life.
Eighteen years ago, he was struggling to live.
The world's most premature baby is now a student living for the first time away from the parents who went to extremes to bring him into the world.
"I feel good and I'm happy that I survived," says James, who was born a staggering 128 days prematurely.
"I'm lucky that I have parents who cared so much."
Weighing just 1 lb. 6 oz at birth, James is now a stocky young man standing about 5'9" who enjoys rugby, diving and fast cars.
No one - except his parents Brenda and Jim - expected James to live 18 minutes, let alone 18 years.
Tears fill Brenda's eyes as she recalls the reaction of doctors and nurses when she went into labour at the beginning of her 21st week of pregnancy."They said, 'We have something to tell you. If you have the baby right now there's no possible chance that the baby will survive.' I said, 'You're wrong because mine is.'"
"This was the first time of many that we realized that we had to fight for what we believed in the whole way with James."
Brenda and Jim, both now near 50, were high school sweethearts who grew up in the small town of Prescott, Ontario and were married just a couple of years after graduation. They moved a few miles away to the town of Maitland and then settled in Brockville, a picturesque city of about 22,000 people on the banks of the St. Lawrence River.
Brenda worked for the Royal Bank and Jim focused on the couple's new business, the 1000 Isles Seafood shop.
"We waited a few years and we didn't have children until I was 30," says Brenda.
When she started suffering extensive bleeding during the pregnancy, Brenda went to a doctor who recommended that she check-in to a hospital or go home and get bed rest.
"I'm a very active person and I knew that if I went home I wouldn't have bed rest so I said I will choose the hospital," she recalls. "I went in to the hospital and I still didn't realize that I was in labour."
Brenda said doctors and nurses generally treated her like a nuisance and insisted there was nothing seriously wrong.
"They told me that I wasting their time and that I just had a urine infection. That got me thinking because I had not given them a urine sample."Brenda's sister Susan, a dental hygienist with children of her own, recognized the signs of early labour and raised the alarm.
But the medical professionals were unmoved. "They came back around my bed and they told me there was no way I was in labour," Brenda says.
"I had a strong conviction that my sister was right and if something happened I would never forgive myself because I really wanted this baby."
Both expectant parents pleaded with doctors.
Says Jim: "I explained that she needs to be in a facility where they have better neo-natal facilities and I said, 'If you don't transport her, we're going to check her out and I'll take her myself.'"
Finally, the hospital agreed to release Brenda and transport her via ambulance to the Civic Hospital in Ottawa, a little more than an hour away.
On the way, Brenda felt her stomach tighten. She went into hard labour. The ambulance driver put on the lights and sirens and rushed her to the hospital.
Doctors at the Civic offered Brenda a chance to test an experimental drug designed to curb early
labour but warned her of severe and potentially fatal side effects. She agreed and suffered for two days before slipping into critical condition."At one point," says Jim, "they said we have to decide between the mother and the child, and at this stage no child has survived."
Babies born before 37 weeks make up as much as 10 percent of all births and those born before 32 weeks typically suffer brain damage, respiratory disease and blindness.
Brenda recalls the moment she was taken off the drug.
"They disconnected everything and I remember feeling such an impending sense of doom and that's the only time I felt this significant loss. It was such an unbearable grief that I felt."
But the expectant mom wasn't about to give up, telling doctors: "I've been in this labour for four days and I've come this far so we're just going to continue on."
Brenda started hemorraghing and dilating but the doctors in the ward were busy with several miscarriages.
Jim was told that his wife would have to miscarry in her bed without medical supervision.
"They gave me a stainless steel kidney dish and they told me the fetus is going to come out and to put the fetus in the dish and push the call button twice," he says.
"I thought, no, we're not going to do that."
The hospital staff continued to prepare the would-be parents for the reality that their baby would not be born alive.
Brenda remembers a visit by Dr. Jacques Sylvain at 5:00 that afternoon.
"He said, 'I am so sorry for everything that you've been through and there's nothing we can do anymore. We can't do anything so you're just going to lose the baby here in bed.'
"And I said, 'No, there's no way that you're going to do this to me.'
She adds: "I was always determined. Maybe it was just my conviction that I knew that I had to have him born alive and that I wanted a child. For some reason I just had a strong feeling that he was going to live.
"I just knew. I just knew. I can't say anything more. I just knew that he was going to be born and that he was going to be alive."
Dr. Sylvain, who had recently learned a new technique for delivering premature infants, agreed to
help Brenda deliver her baby.
At 8:11 pm, Brenda gave birth to a tiny boy.
"James came out in my water - he flew out - and to everybody's shock, he cried," she says. But the prognosis wasn't good. No baby born this early had survived. Brenda and Jim were advised not to name the baby and were encouraged to have it baptized as soon as possible.
"They started to prepare me for a death and I said, 'No, he's going to live, he's going to be fine.'"
Brenda says she was discouraged from seeing her son.
"The reaction of parents of premature babies is one of shock, one of horror, and one of 'That is not my child.'"
But she insisted and the tiny boy was brought into the recovery room.
"James was not fully formed. My mother described him as a skinned rabbit. His skin was dark red
and it rubbed off. His eyes were fused shut. He didn't have any cartilage in his ear. He didn't have a bum, he just had a little hole.
"I looked at him and I said, 'You know, he's the most beautiful baby that I've ever seen.' James was beautiful to me. I said, 'We're going to have him on our boat. In the fall he's going to be home and on our boat.' I wanted James. I literally willed him to live."
Jim, meanwhile, tried a different tactic. In a downpour, he drove to his father's grave and got down on both knees.
"I'm not very religious so I must have been over-tired," he recalls with a chuckle. "I got down and I said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll give him your name but you help this baby live.' That was out of character for me to do that."
Little James remained in critical condition for his first couple of months and had to be brought back from death several times. He was connected to a ventilator and feeding tube and his skin had darkened. His heart was the size of a cherry and his lungs no bigger than walnuts. At just 1.5 pounds, James developed a heart murmur and needed emergency surgery.
Says Brenda: "It was a rollercoaster because I was told constantly that he was going to die and I was asked every time I went in to have him baptized. The only reason they wanted me to baptize him was because he was going to die and I knew if I baptized him it was my way of letting go and I wasn't going to let go."
Miraculously, James was released from hospital on September 23, just five days later than his
original due date. He weighed in at 5 lbs. 13 oz.
"I can honestly tell you never once did I believe that he was going to die or that he was going to have any of the effects that premature babies often have," says Brenda. "The biggest thing was that I was positive. I'm not a religious person but I do believe in being positive. I wanted all my positive energies focused on James."
Her son went home with no oxygen, no feeding tubes and no need for special care.
"He came home like a normal, healthy baby."
The Gills sold their seafood business and Brenda left her banking job. Just months after bringing James home, they set out on a 12,500 km road trip around North America.
Little James Elgin Gill became a celebrity. A deal to make a TV movie based on the experience fell through when producers refused to give the family creative control but James and his parents made appearances on several talk and news shows.
The media interest caught the attention of officials at the Guinness Book of World Records, who wanted to list James as the world's most premature baby.
At first, the family wanted nothing to do with it.
"I was trying to stay out of that," says Jim. "They said, 'We have thousands of people contacting us trying to get into the record book and we're offering you a chance and you're declining?' So we supplied them with some documentation and everything worked out."
His record remains intact today, but James blushes when asked about it.
"I don't like to brag. I have friends who tell people but I won't tell a person unless they ask," he says.
"I don't know, I just like how I felt like a normal child."
A flanker on the local rugby team, James twice fell just short of making his high school honour roll and held down a part-time job at a supermarket. He enjoys woodworking and welding. His real passion, though, is cars. On his 16th birthday, his parents gifted him with a Honda Civic.
Last September, James began studying automotive marketing at Georgian College in Barrie, Ontario.
It is his first time living away from home.Asked if his mother can be a little over-protective, James replies: "A little?"
But, he adds, "I feel close to her. I feel open. Like, I feel I can tell her what's on my mind."
Brenda interrupts. "I'm an over-protective mom and I'm trying not to be. I'm having a hard time with this."
The couple's second son, 15-year-old Spencer (who was born several days late), still lives at home. The family's condo, overlooking the St. Lawrence River, is filled with photographs and love.
Jim, who now works in property management, says: "When we had James everything that meant a lot to me all of a sudden meant nothing."
Adds Brenda: "I thank God all the time that I have him, that I have two healthy boys."
And speaking about the struggle to give life to James is something Brenda believes is very important.
"If I can help one mother or one family that happen to have a premature baby to know that you can fight for what you believe in and you if you are determined enough it will succeed," she says.
"Doctors can be wrong. People can be wrong. Fight for what you believe in."
© CanWest News Service 2006
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=db8f33ab-33e9-429f-bedc-b6ca80f61bdc
God's Tiny Angels
God's Tiny Angels came down to this earth
Through much tribulation and premature birth
Both Keeton and Kaden, unlimited worth
They landed one hot summer day
For almost a month both were here on this land
Our hearts being held in their undersized hands
But this was not part of the ultimate plan
Both wouldn't be able to stay
God whispered to Keeton and told him his choice
"Fret not little one for it's time to rejoice
I need you with me," said the comforting voice
The angel ascended that day
To Kaden he whispered "do not be afraid
I have plans for you, there's a reason you've stayed"
While all heads were bowed and our God softly prayed
Our Kaden chose not to dismay
"Goodbye for now brother I'll miss you a lot
I promise to cherish the chance that I got
Remember the unending love that you brought
I love you and you'll be okay!"
They smiled and waved as he rose to the sky
My wife's only sunshine, the light in my eye
That heartbreaking weekend, we all said goodbye
While Heavens harps started to play
There must be a reason that he had to go
A reason that we may or may never know
As time passes by we continue to grow
Our Keeton will show us the way
Written By: Mason E. Floyd
Premature Baby Prayer
God bless the little child behind the plastic wall
For all he knows is the ringing of the bells and
the blurred images around him.
He has been taken from my womb without warning and I long to hold him in my arms.
Lord, I ask in your name that my child be healed.
I am willing to accept your decision no matter what
it will be. I am willing to take on the responsibilities
for caring for this child. I am willing to give this
child love and understanding no matter the cost.
Please Lord help me to accept reality and what has
happened without explanation or warning. Help me
face the fact that this is not my fault and that
I was given a special task to complete here on Earth.
God give my child the strength to make it through another
second, minute, hour and day as each moment is
a blessing and a triumph from heaven.
God, may you give the strength and compassion
to the caregivers and nurses that take care of my child
May you keep my child protected and free from all injury
and pain.
Please take away the guilt and burden from my heart dear
Lord. It is heavy and I feel it is all my fault.
Take it away dear Lord. Sweet Jesus allow me the stregnth
and understanding I need to communicate with the Doctors
and Nurses.
As you see dear Lord, I am at your mercy for the life of
my child. Please leave him here on Earth and know that
I will provide all the love and understanding that
this child needs. I accept the challenge and will be
your humble servant dear Lord.
-- Author unknown
My Gift
By Alice Porembski
I am a stranger to you now, but let me walk with you for awhile. Because I have been where you are, and where you are about to go.
I have no answers. I offer instead my hand, my heart, my listening ear, my time, and my experience... so that one day, you can turn to another and say:
I am a stranger to you now, but let me walk with you for awhile. Because I have been where you are, and where you are about to go. I have no answers. I offer instead my hand, my heart, my listening ear, my time, and my experience... so that one day...
Little Miracle
As I love you through the glass, the hours seem so slow to pass.
I stroke your skin and hold your hand, this isn't exactly what I had planned.
I cast my eyes up to the sky and say a ilttle prayer ...
that the Lord will hold you up in His arms and keep you in HIs care.
So sleep and grow my baby, and dream of clouds of foam, and I will love you through the glass until you can come home.
MOTHERS
Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
they don't have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough
doesn't come out of carpets.
Real Mothers don't want to know what
the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
and get their answer when a little
voice says, 'Because I love you best..'
Real Mothers know that a child's growth
is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to
Mother...
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.
16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!
35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the
figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that
she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only
grows!